Ignorant Twats That Keeping Asking For Hosting Recommendations

Oh. My. Days.

The resources required for hosting websites come from a large and complex pool of computer processes. If you want something that works well for you, then you need to pay for the skills and resources to set it up for you. If you want some cheap shit that probably works for most people most of the time, then any old crap will do.

If you’ve chosen a host for your website because it comes cheap from a large company – then like shopping at a supermarket, you’ve chosen the ‘value’ range. Don’t be surprised if it comes with surprise horse meat. So when you chose your cheap host, stop fucking crying when your site is slow and gets hacked. These large companies work in bulk. You are a tiny, tiny percentage of their business and they are looking to maximise their profits. For every one of you, there are thousands who just happen not to have had a problem. So by all means change to a different one. This time, for a while, you might be OK. But it really is just pot luck.

There are many technical layers to hosting and serving up a web site. You’re reading this because you have no fucking idea what the complexities are. You are being duped. Do you really think that you’re getting some amazing deal? They’re just hoping that you’re too thick to spot what the catch is. And trust me, there is a catch, and the catch is that you’re getting shit hosting.

Just shut your big wanky cake hole and pay for proper hosting. Find someone who will build you a service that fits your needs. And if you can’t afford it, well then stop crying too. Tough tits. If you won’t pay it, then you really are the smelliest of turds.

Finding a good host is easy. You just don’t want to admit it, or pay for it.

Seriously, hop around between those crappy hosts (and yes you know exactly which they are), whine and moan. Keep going back to forums and mailing lists and ask “which is better?”. It’ll fill some little pointless hole in your life.

In the mean time, businesses that value their customer’s sensitive data will pay good money for proper hosting. Leaving you with your site down. Again.

Google – I hate their wafty design and crappy scroll bars

The point of scrollbars is to act as a visual clue that there is more content, not currently visible. It shouldn’t be hidden behind a mouse-over. Google seem to have introduced this concept that every web page, instead of being rich with user information for your eyes to find, you have to go on a fucking stupid treasure hunt with your mouse to un-earth the hidden content.

To make this a double fuck-up – they don’t even shitting work. When you mouse over them they indicate that you are at the top of the content. But I know there is more content! When you scroll down, suddenly you can scroll up even further than before.

And to add to this triple-whammy twat-fest they’ve added a lot of white-space. I hear all my (usually Apple fans) designer friends and acquaintances go ‘coo’ over it. It’s true, when the page loads, it looks pretty. But it’s as useless as a cunt in sausage factory. It might be pretty, but you wouldn’t want to eat it.

A classic case of form over function. And Google’s products are for using, not for looking at. So reducing the usable screen real-estate, hiding what’s left, making it more complicated and having all that shitty mess not actually work? That’s a cock-up. And I don’t like it.

Those whiny cyclists are their own worst enemy

This is what I have told many cycling enthusiasts

You may be right, but now you’re dead

Cyclists should have more cycle lanes. Other road users should have better awareness, and give cyclists right of way. You avidly peddling, annoying, self-righteous twats have a very valid point. But how you go about highlighting this issue is by unnecessarily endangering other people on the road and flouting the law pointlessly.

The way to tackle your problem is to behave in an exemplary manner. Otherwise you have no high ground at all. Stop riding on the pavement. Stop riding in pedestrian areas. Stop riding against the flow of traffic and the highway code. Don’t fuck-off the guy with the 1 tonne plus killing machine.

Stay safe. Stop endangering yourselves just because you feel you are morally correct. Waiting out for provisions and the law to catch up with you from a hospital bed, or a coffin, is just plain stupid.

Stop whining. Ride safely and legally. Encourage others to do the same. Campaign responsibly and with a positive thrust.